Maybe this will be the last time I have to change, or adjust, my life. Maybe I will get it right this time. I found throughout life that if I pretend to be some way or the other, it is just as good as being and no one knows the difference. And eventually I'm not acting any more. It has served me well through three marriages and gazillions of jobs. I am hoping it serves me well this one last time.
There are some things I will not pretend about, or compromise on. Politics and religion and my love for my family are at the top of that list. But to get through the trying times I will pretend that I am happy with my lot in life and satisfied with the things that are happening in it. I will pretend that I can handle all of it and that I love doing it.
And eventually even I won't know the difference.