Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Six of one, half dozen of the other

What do you do when you are tired of everything? You have to change your life, and you have to change it from the inside out. I have done it so many times, you would think it would come easy after a while. BUT, being my age and trying to do it is a whole new ball game. I have found that I can still do it, but it sure does take a lot longer to get it done. Well, it's that way with everything. I can do it all, it just takes longer. And I'll admit I think things over a whole lot more before I start into a big project like this.

Maybe this will be the last time I have to change, or adjust, my life. Maybe I will get it right this time. I found throughout life that if I pretend to be some way or the other, it is just as good as being and no one knows the difference. And eventually I'm not acting any more. It has served me well through three marriages and gazillions of jobs. I am hoping it serves me well this one last time.
There are some things I will not pretend about, or compromise on. Politics and religion and my love for my family are at the top of that list. But to get through the trying times I will pretend that I am happy with my lot in life and satisfied with the things that are happening in it. I will pretend that I can handle all of it and that I love doing it.

And eventually even I won't know the difference.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know your life situation but do know that life can be intense to deal with during times of transition. I've always admired people who could keep a smile on their face despite the turmoil. Even if it's pretending, it's still guiding your thoughts to directly think positive. I used to often do a conscious routine of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones in attempts to "turn around" the situation into a positive one.

    I need to start doing this again, as sometimes I get stuck and forget about it. Recently I got into a pattern where I would say to myself unconsciously "this sucks" or "I hate this", focusing on the negative. When I stopped to purposefully change my thoughts about the matter, the situation looked completely different! Granted, some situations are not meant for one to stay *stuck* in and allow themselves to be mistreated or disrespected.

    Good luck on your life adjustments, and if you get it right, cool! If not then try to enjoy the ride and keep on keepin' on. Really it's all right in the long run because we learn so much from each and every experience. Sometimes it may even take a few of those experiences to finally know what is really best for you! ;)