Six of one, half dozen of the other

What do you do when you are tired of everything? You have to change your life, and you have to change it from the inside out. I have done it so many times, you would think it would come easy after a while. BUT, being my age and trying to do it is a whole new ball game. I have found that I can still do it, but it sure does take a lot longer to get it done. Well, it's that way with everything. I can do it all, it just takes longer. And I'll admit I think things over a whole lot more before I start into a big project like this.

Maybe this will be the last time I have to change, or adjust, my life. Maybe I will get it right this time. I found throughout life that if I pretend to be some way or the other, it is just as good as being and no one knows the difference. And eventually I'm not acting any more. It has served me well through three marriages and gazillions of jobs. I am hoping it serves me well this one last time.

There are some things I will not pretend about, or compromise on. Politics and religion and my love for my family are at the top of that list. But to get through the trying times I will pretend that I am happy with my lot in life and satisfied with the things that are happening in it. I will pretend that I can handle all of it and that I love doing it.

And eventually even I won't know the difference.